


XMO-41 –- Mandate to Settle Romantic Triangular Civic Disputes

by toffeenutinthetardis



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Fast Cars, Fluff and Crack, I Blame Tumblr, M/M, Street Racing, XMO-41 "Mandate to Settle Romantic Triangular Civic Disputes"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-14 11:05:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1263991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toffeenutinthetardis/pseuds/toffeenutinthetardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was in this moment, sitting at the red light and lost in his adoring thoughts, while gazing at his boyfriend, with a curly fry sneaking past Cecil's teeth, that Carlos's eyes slowly focused past Cecil’s passenger-side car window to the inhabitant of the car in the other lane. There was a mop of spiked red hair in the driver seat, leering at him with a conflicted look on its face. Earl Harlan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	XMO-41 –- Mandate to Settle Romantic Triangular Civic Disputes

It had started harmlessly enough, as most things do.   
  
He and Cecil were sitting at the light, on their way home from Arby’s, munching happily on their curly fries. The smell of Arby’s “horsey” sauce permeating the car was only slightly nauseating to Carlos, but he wasn’t in the habit of denying Cecil anything. Especially when Cecil’s blue ombre scarf was bringing out the blue in his gradient-glowing hair – a coarse, curly bouffant that faded from plum to sky blue like the twilight sky.   
  
It was in this moment, sitting at the red light and lost in his adoring thoughts, while gazing at his boyfriend _–his boyfriend–_ with a curly fry sneaking past Cecil's teeth, that Carlos's eyes slowly focused past Cecil’s passenger-side car window to the inhabitant of the car in the other lane. There was a mop of spiked red hair in the driver seat, leering at him with a conflicted look on its face.  
  
 _Earl Harlan._

 

"Carlos, what’s wrong?" Carlos realized his face must have slipped from adoration into a befuddled stare of miscomprehension. Earl then revved the engine of his Ford 78’ Mustang. For a brief moment, a spark of scientific curiosity as to how Earl had managed to keep the engine that healthy flitted through his mind before Cecil’s gasp brought him back to the moment. Cecil’s head whipped back, eyes meeting Carlos’s gaze with a sheepish look.  
  
  
Carlos knew that look. That look meant some weird Night Vale rule was about to affect the moment.

  
  
Carlos sighed and raised an eyebrow, as Cecil began to explain, “My dear Carlos, Earl Harlan is back! Which would explain why this light is still red…” Carlos rubbed his brow, smoothing his wrinkled brow, while waiting for the proverbial foot to drop. “Carlos? How good are you at racing?”  
  
Carlos’s eyes shot open and he fixed Cecil with his second baffled stare of the evening. “…Racing!?”

  
  
 **"DR. RAMIREZ AND MR. HARLAN, THE ROADS HAVE BEEN CLEARED."**

Carlos jumped at the booming voice that filled the area as his windows rattled. His white knuckles managed to clutch the steering wheel a little harder and his head whipped to the side as he heard his passenger door open. For a moment, his heart started to sink at the idea that Cecil was leaving the car to reunite with his past lover. Then Cecil stopped, one purple skinny jean clad foot out the door, and turned.   
      
"My perfect Carlos, I’m going to have to be quick. The Sheriff’s Secret Police likes a good car chase and since we’re all such good citizens and never get into car chases, the City Council signed XMO-41 into law." Cecil cleared his throat and continued as though he were reciting, "Should two parties approach an intersection, one of which is transporting a passenger that has an established romantic past with the other non-transporting party, and the transporting driver is currently in a romantic relationship with the passenger, both parties are mandated to engage in an impromptu vehicular race."’  
  
Carlos blinked. He blinked again. He kept blinking, thinking he was going to clear this ridiculous situation from his vision and return to gazing adoringly at his boyfriend. Any. Second. Now.   
  
No, he was still sitting at stop light with a red-headed scout master revving his engine while his boyfriend blew him a kiss and wished him good luck. Carlos drew a deep breath and punched the auto button for his motorized window. “Cecil!” He called out of the window, as his boyfriend turned to face the two cars in the center of the road and started to draw his ombre scarf from around his neck. “What is the outcome of this…this race? What is the goal?” Carlos’s voice cracked a bit on the last word, as the fear of losing Cecil to such a ridiculous display of masculinity sat heavy in his stomach and he carefully avoided the words “prize” and “win your love.”

  
  
Cecil grinned and winked salaciously at Carlos, whom blushed, and replied “They get a free month of Rico’s Pizza, of course!” After a moment, a couple giggles erupted nervously from Carlos and he shook his head. He tapped the gas pedal on his Prius gently and glanced over at Earl, surprised to find his face was quickly morphing into the same color as his hair. Earl floored his pedal and his tires squealed on the pavement, generating smoke and a smell of burning rubber.

  
  
Cecil cocked his hip, raised his blue scarf, smirked and once the light overhead turned green, he dropped his it. 

**Author's Note:**

> So I was watching TV and a car commercial came on. I was thinking about this other parent I had seen at daycare while I was dropping my daughter off who had FABULOUS hair. It reminded me of a POCecil I have seen on Tumblr. My cracky brain merged to the two and I immediately stopped what I was doing to write this.
> 
> Something to consider: I’m an extremely rusty writer. I’ve written fanfiction before, but I am out of practice. This is my first time back and its apparently crack filled.


End file.
